Counseling for Trauma: When should I reach out to a therapist?
You are more than what happened to you!
Your past doesn’t define you.
In my 11 years as a psychotherapist, the one thing that stands out that there is ALWAYS hope.
Trauma doesn’t show up the way you think. Life might look great on the outside and you may have good relationships, but on the inside you’re second guessing yourself, feel out of control, needing things to go a certain way in order to feel okay. You’ve learned all the right behaviors, ways to to think, and skills to manage your emotions and stress. At the same time, you’re resilient and able to bounce back from the hardships. You’ve learned great ways to cope with what has happened to you. But now, you’re feeling stuck and not sure why you’re anxious at night, or feel off when you’re hanging with your friends or playing with your kids.
It might be hard to pin pin point what exactly happened for you which often leaves you confused. Trauma can be a scary word. Sounds like something that happens during war, doesn't it? And while we do use "traumatic" to refer to soldiers who live through the horrors of war, it's important to keep in mind that all kinds of traumatization, including the abuses of the past, recent, and childhood occur for a variety of reasons: sexual abuse or trauma, physical or emotional abuse, neglect and other forms of interpersonal violence can all have traumatic impacts on a person.
Trauma is any event that is so stressful it overwhelms your ability to cope with life. It may be an unexpected death, sexual assault, natural event, or abandonment in an important relationship. It may be caused by one experience, or a series of repeated events. Trauma can affect you physically, mentally, emotionally, and socially.
Trauma actually changes the structure and function of your brain.
What are Trauma Symptoms
Trauma symptoms may first appear while you are still in danger, then continue after the danger has passed (post-traumatic stress disorder). The most common trauma symptoms include:
Intrusive thoughts and memories of the event
Nightmares about what happened, or about other unrelated things that seem like they could have happened to you
Avoidance of anything that reminds you of the event (people, places or objects)
Anger and irritability
Difficulty concentrating or remembering things that happened before or after the trauma
Feeling emotionally numb or detached from other people or situations.
This is not easy stuff. Make no mistake. It takes time and effort to understand the process of recovery from trauma, and it's a process that is by no means guaranteed to work. But if you can stick with it--if you can overcome your doubts, your fears, and your own limitations, and reach out for help--then you really have nothing to lose. And considering how worthwhile the rewards could be--a better understanding of yourself, a healthier relationship with others--you really have everything to gain.
How to find the right therapist for you.
There are a couple of factors you need to keep in mind as you search for a therapist to help you work through what happened to you.
I get it, reaching out is scary. You’re so brave to reaching out and getting the support you need.
First thing is to do your research. Look into what types of trauma therapy is out there and see if your therapist is trained in that particular modality. There are many good platforms to search for a therapist. You can try to go to www.psychologytoday.com, www.therapy den.com, or www.good therapy.org to see what kind of therapists are out there.
Read what the therapist wrote on their profile. Check-in with yourself and see if what they wrote really spoke to you.
Once you’ve found the a match, it’s important to email or call the therapist and schedule your free consultation. The free consultation is usually 15 to 20 minutes long where you and your therapist see if it is a good match for you.
During your intake session, it’s important to interview your therapist as well. Ask about their training and understanding of your particular concerns. It is important that you feel respected and feel listened by your therapist.
Please share your concerns as they arise. Your therapist is trained to address your concerns in the relationship and will help you work through your fear and doubts.
You’re resilient and have had many experiences that you were able to bounce back from. Not all people need intensive trauma therapy, however it’s important to know when your healthy coping skills are not working and you’re noticing irritability, anger, nightmares, inability to calm down, or suicidal thoughts.
The hardest step is to reach out and make that first phone call.
You don’t have to suffer alone! You can have someone to walk alongside during your journey!
