Anxiety Makes You Think You Don’t Have Enough Time!
When you’re constantly worried about what others think and how you perform at work or in your relationship, you may feel like time is running out of your hands. It doesn’t have this hard! Let go of your anxiety and take back your time.
Time, what is that? Wait a second, do you have some? You’re ridiculous to think I have time for self-care and pampering. What’s wrong with you? Many of my clients see time as a luxury. If you’re anything like my other clients, you might see ‘me’ time as a luxury and feel buried by all the shit you have to get done. Many clients dream of having time to read a book, take that art course, take a bath in peace, go alone to a coffee shop, have a more spacious calendar, and enjoy a cup of coffee in your own company. You may see time for self-care as a ridiculous concept. You’ve been working hard on not feeling like crap, and you feel like you need to keep going. Many of my clients struggle with the “not enough” time mindset and feel stuck. They want freedom. Our culture promotes this run-around till you're exhausted. You may get accolades and praise for being busy and doing work, taking on this project, doing this nonprofit volunteer work, and doing the PTA. But, in reality, you’re tired, need a break, and honestly don’t want to do that.
What’s the next thing on the to-do list?
When we’re in a state of worrying about getting things done, or about how others will react to us, we get thrown into this feeling that there is not enough time.
What if I tell you that you can shift your perception of time? Yeah, and what world Tanya? Fair question. Susie was a 41-year-old executive coach who came to therapy feeling exhausted and burnt out. She said, “I love work and have been doing this for so long. I don't feel worthy of stepping away. I secretly feel bad for taking up the space I do. I want to know my purpose”. It was even hard for her to schedule the first appointment. She couldn’t fathom her busy work week, raising her kids, tending to her relationship, finding time for herself, and blocking off 50 minutes for her really to connect with herself. Many of her thoughts ran like this, “ Is this even going to help? How long will it take? I don’t have time in my day for myself. How much to make time for therapy. It feels like something else I have to do”. If you have had these thoughts about therapy, it’s widespread. You’re not alone!
Our perception of time is wrapped up in the sense of value and unspoken cultural messages. You might be thinking, “OK, you lost me here; what are you talking about”? It is hard for any of my clients to slow down, take on less, set boundaries with work and with the people they love, and take time for themselves. Jeez, I kept thinking that if I keep succeeding and achieving that, this will fill this missing gap I tend to struggle with in my life. I wanted to run away from this empty/gab feeling. I was trying to fill it with accolades and achievements. Every time I’d line up all the achievements and awards, another shelf magically appeared, which meant I’d have to fill that as well.
“If you are always trying to be normal, you will never know how amazing you can be.””
I was on this never-ending cycle that left me feeling exhausted, lonely, and not enough. I share this because I had to do my healing work with the time and my value as a being. My clients also struggle with feeling good enough, feeling less than, and needing to repeatedly prove their worth to themselves. On the outside, you seem dependable, but on the inside, you are exhausted. You want to take a nap, and you want to be quiet. And there is nothing wrong with that. Therapy can help you feel supported, help you unwind your idea and perception of time, connect with your values and boundaries with others, and live according to what you need in your values. So many women get taught that they have to take on everything. Let’s shrug our shoulders, take a deep breath, and know you don’t have to take on everything.
Soul Glue Reflection:
I invite you to make a list with your spouse and list all the things you take on minus work?
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