Two Strategies to Help With Anxiety and Perfectionism: Anxiety/Perfectionism hurt your relationship with yourself and others
Learn how to let go of perfectionism, embrace ease and joy.
You want to do things well! Way to go! You want to offer everything that you are into everything that you do. And that is beautiful determination and passion. You might even try to bring that same passion determination that you feel in your work to your relationships because you want that for filling life.
Trying to put everything in perfect alignment is a hard task and keep you tired.
And sometimes, because of his deep determination and passion, we find ourselves hanging out with our good old friend's anxiety and perfectionism. Many of my clients become hyper-focused on trying to be everything for their work and the people they care about. That might look like you are super exhausted, feel like you’ve no energy left for anything that nourishes you, and you’re trying to keep all these essential things afloat, but then you forget about yourself!
As a result, many women start struggling with sleep, good eating patterns, excessive worry about work projects, and family issues. This anxiety/perfectionism can sometimes keep you up at night and have your head reeling. On the other end of the spectrum, you might be like some of my clients who become highly irritable, short-tempered, and stop behaving in very different ways that do not match who they are or any critical values. Yikes, and this shit sucks so bad. You often pride yourself on knowing how to handle shit, keep calm, and be there for others. It’s almost like you’ve been carrying tons of bricks in your purse or backpack, and with each new thing, you keep cutting bricks. Every day you wake up, and then you carry more bricks, and you go long distances. After a while, you’ll want to collapse because you’re exhausted. But many of my clients who have this anxiety perfectionism tendency struggle with letting those bricks go and walking freely with their shoulders stretched out and in their integrity.
What stories do you tell yourself that let’s you not measure up?
Because of many cultural stories, many of my clients think that they have to carry this invisible heavy backpack full of bricks and other people's stuff. They tend to feel that they have to wake up, put on that backpack, and leave the day without having us with them. It does not have to be this way! You can still live a successful, fulfilling life and have more energy! It is essential to know what you are packing in your backpack. What bricks are you holding onto, and why do you carry them? It’s often a lot of other people's shit that gets put in your backpack, and most of the time, it’s unconscious. We lug this heavy backpack with us. You don’t even know how the bricks ended up in your backpack. You might find yourself tired and frustrated at something, not yours to worry fret over. You are not alone. Let’s unpack and let go of that backpack together!
“On this sacred path of Radical Acceptance, rather than striving for perfection, we discover how to love ourselves into wholeness.”
What is in your backpack?
You're Enough as You Are
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You're Enough as You Are 〰️
So glue reflections:
Activity: On a piece of paper, I invite you to do a backpack inventory. List all the things that you’re stressing out about right now at this time. Please don’t think about it. Just write what’s coming out and permit yourself to write everything that you’re holding at this point.
Action step: Next, take the piece of paper, hold it in your hands and do a body check. Check in with your body if you want to rip this list into 1 million parts, or do you want to crumple it up into a small tight tiny bowl and throw it in the garbage. Add a nice loud sigh or grunt and notice how you feel afterward.
Next, I want you to imagine what this backpack looks like. And I want to imagine how these bricks get into your backpack. Next, to advise you to take a couple of minutes to connect with your breath, notice you letting go of that backpack, see what your body feels like, and notice what your back feels like.
What if you give yourself permission to let it go?
